Adding Value to Others

Monish Subherwal Relationships Leave a Comment

Just like a real bank account, one can deposit into someone else’s Emotional Bank Account by: Being courteous Showing kindness Being honest Being vulnerable Making others laugh Keeping commitments Delivering high quality work etc. Notice, some of these deposits can be soft skills, like being courteous, and others could be more hard skills based – like delivering high quality designs.  …

How to Build Trust: The Emotional Bank Account

Monish Subherwal Relationships Leave a Comment

In The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey talks about a concept called “The Emotional Bank Account” that I have found to be a great framework to describing how to build successful trusting relationships. The Emotional Bank Account is a metaphor used to describe the amount of trust that’s built up in a relationship.  It’s the feeling of safety …

Ask for balanced feedback

Monish Subherwal Humility Leave a Comment

Hate to break it to you but projects are not meant for us to be rockstars (although we all feel great when we are contributing of course).  Projects are actually meant to help us grow.  And as we all know, any growth must requires discomfort. Learn to be uncomfortable.  Often, people don’t want to make us feel bad, so only call out what we’re doing well.  …

Use language softeners

Monish Subherwal Humility Leave a Comment

Over time I am improving my usage of “language softeners.”  These are etiquette words or phrases that help us communicate openly (and thus less arrogantly or directly). For example, instead of saying “this is the direction we need to go” it’s sometimes better to say “one direction we may go.”  This allows for flowing dialogue and inclusivity.  Another benefit is …

Recalibrate when you offend others

Monish Subherwal Humility Leave a Comment

Every team goes through a few stages until people truly trust each other.  In the early stages of a relationship, people are feeling out each other’s personalities.  Over time, as projects continue, each of us handles situations differently.  When we end up offending someone (or being offended), conflict can happen.  This conflict can be subtle (like avoiding eye contact or …

Never take credit that isn’t yours

Monish Subherwal Humility Leave a Comment

When working with others, we can easily get carried away.  When the time comes to share a great idea, we can end up not giving the right credit to the right people. When I have done this in the past (or seen others do this), I’ve seen it can end up destroying trust.  Others can feel that you are out …

Listen twice as much as you speak

Monish Subherwal Humility Leave a Comment

We live in a time where we think being the loudest person in the room is a celebrated virtue.  In fact, it can work quite the opposite. Oftentimes, I have had to pause and stop myself from saying the first thing that wants to come out of my mouth.  I am learning how and when to speak and contribute.  When …

Give your attention equally to all

Monish Subherwal Humility Leave a Comment

Another valuable suggestion for demonstrating humility, is to give eye contact equally.  This is a very subtle thing, but as human beings we are very aware if we are not being addressed in a group of people.  Eye contact, and lack of it, I believe is one thing that demonstrates if we are paying attention to someone or not.   Although you probably …

Relax and make others laugh

Monish Subherwal Humility Leave a Comment

I do believe too many people take their work very seriously.  And to some degree, work is serious.  But I believe, work should not get stressful.  It should be like playing a game of tennis – absorbing and focusing your energy for some purpose.  The moment you let the game get to your head, you’re in for trouble. We can …