Ask for balanced feedback

Monish Subherwal Humility Leave a Comment

Hate to break it to you but projects are not meant for us to be rockstars (although we all feel great when we are contributing of course).  Projects are actually meant to help us grow.  And as we all know, any growth must requires discomfort.

Learn to be uncomfortable.  Often, people don’t want to make us feel bad, so only call out what we’re doing well.  Or, we don’t want to know the truth.  Real growth, however, comes from asking for the good AND the bad.

Learn to enthusiastically and proactively ask to receive balanced feedback.  Earnestly ask for other’s opinions about what you’re doing well and what you can improve on.

Continuously doing this (during or after projects) is helpful in creating a muscle to be proactive about feedback.

Author’s note:  Not all feedback is equal.  Be careful who you ask for feedback.  Make sure that person is trusted and respectable.  If the person giving feedback is a joker, I tend to be careful about paying too much attention to it.  If the person is overly mean (providing only negative feedback), this also doesn’t settle well with me either and I begin to evaluate the credibility of the feedback rather than hear the feedback.  Over time, however, I am learning how to stomach feedback more and not take it too personally.  When I find feedback is done well, it’s balanced.  It tells me things I can do to grow and encourages me.  Whenever I’ve received feedback which made me doubt myself, paralyzed me or made me resentful – I think these are signs I either took the feedback too personally, which means I need some time to process it.  Or it could mean the person giving the feedback wasn’t kind and balanced when giving the feedback.  When you don’t agree to the feedback, in these cases, you need to be like the dude and say to yourself “Well, that’s just your opinion man” and learn to shrug it off.

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