The feeling of “trying hard” and not accepting yourself fully, is a common experience for many people. Thankfully, I have found for myself, that these insecure feelings typically go away over time. Once you settle in a healthy (key word: healthy) organization (you get to know people and they get to know you), you begin to relax and feel secure in who you are.
However, for some people, this doesn’t happen. They end up perpetually feeling insecure and there is a constant underlying worry of not being accepted (or failing). There can arise a compulsion to be the best and be seen as perfect. As a result of striving to be perfect, we can become arrogant which works against humility and collaboration.
Author’s note: It’s confusing and seems paradoxical, but I have met arrogant people who have done very well in their careers. Their arrogance coupled with developed (or perceived) talents, give off a confidence that seem to help them in their careers. For a while I thought that it was a good idea to be a bit egoistical and arrogant too. But don’t be fooled. I believe, such progress comes at an immense cost. I believe that we cannot be arrogant and rude with others at work AND have a peaceful personal or home life. Thus it’s important to work on our own issues.
So how can we keep ourselves in check?